How am I not rich yet?

Once upon a time, I had the crazy idea to make a website. It didn’t go as planned. I had it in my head that I would make Pinterest-worthy blog posts and that shit would be so amazing that it would go viral, bring in a ton of traffic, and then I could use that traffic to make money from ad revenue and affiliate marketing. Oh, and what if I had a YouTube channel, and could make money from that as well?

Did you know that, in order to make money at something, you have to a) not be shit at it, b) have the drive to make it happen, and c) actually put considerable effort into it?

Oops. My bad. Feel free to call me an idiot and say, “I told you so!”

To summarize, my first year of blogging and brought in 78 cents of ad revenue and approximately 30 dollars of affiliate commission. Out of that, only 20 dollars got paid out. And that 20 dollars was received from Amazon when a friend purchased $400 worth of car seats after clicking one of my links. (Thanks, Cheryl!)

So, yeah, not great. As it turns out, any old schmuck can’t just put up a website and expect to be able to quit their jobs. Who knew? I feel misled! All of those other blog posts I read said that I could make money as a blogger in 10 easy steps!

Back to square one.

No more worrying about SEO, no more top 10 lists of junk to buy, no more carefully-crafted Pinterest graphics. Just me, my potty mouth, and maybe some definitely-not-Instagram-worthy pictures of my kids. I don’t have Photoshop.

I do, however, own a pencil skirt, a filing cabinet and a pressure washer. That means I must have my shit together.